Yesterday as we were leaving speech therapy, KayLi's therapist stressed how important it is that we encourage KayLi to look at people when they are talking to her. That she needs to watch people talk in order to see how words are formed and imitate them. Hmmmm.
On the long drive home I couldn't help but look back at KayLi's infancy. She missed so much.
The loving stares of a mother and her infant as she is nursing. The soft sounds that are imitated back and forth as a baby begins to forms it's first coos. The loving eye contact that takes place as a mother sings a lullaby. KayLi missed it all and it made my heart break for her all over again.
I would give anything...seriously, anything...to be able to go back and give her what she missed. I can't. All I can do is help her to go forward. Forward with as much love as possible. Every night she falls asleep with her face a few inches away from mine...looking into my eyes. She needs that. We play "Baby KayLi" often. Oh, how she loves being rocked and pretending she's a baby. She asks me to sing "Lullaby and G'night." It's my joy. I'll play as long as she wants me to.
An innocent request from her speech therapist was meant to encourage eye contact and communication skills. It did. It made me look up into the loving eyes of my Father. It encouraged me to pray more fervently than ever. That God will restore as only He can. That I will be able to teach KayLi about His amazing love for her and that she will willingly receive it. That someday she will find complete healing looking into His eyes.