Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Gotcha & Day Two

Before I attempt to run through the last two very over whelming days, let me first apologize for a few things. First of all for not posting. Thanks TJ, for grabbing a few pictures off Allie's Facebook! Also for how blurry our Gotcha Day pictures are. In the craziness of the moment, I didn't realize that my new camera wasn't set right when I handed it to our guide to take some pictures of us. Plus, I'm sorry for all the bad grammar...exhaustion and a lack of time are my feeble excuses. Sadly it will probably be an issue until awhile after we are home. And lastly for the fact that Allie isn't in any of our pictures. Each one that he is in, someone from the orphanage is also in. Since I can't put their pictures on the internet and can't crop them out on the laptop... well sorry. Oh and I guess I should apologize for how long this post will be since I missed yesterday but well, I really can't apologize much for that one :0)

When we first saw our guide at the airport, I asked her when we would meet KayLi. When she told us that she was already at the hotel waiting for us, I almost completely lost it. I was certain that we would be able to go to our room and collect ourselves before the big moment. Then I was just glad that I wouldn't have to wait for them to arrive. As soon as we pulled up to the hotel I could see her through the glass doors. I forgot all about our luggage and just went straight in to her. She seemed ok until she saw me crying, then she cried a little too but she still came to me. The doctor from the orphanage encouraged her and told her something, then she looked at me and said "Hi mama" I can't even describe what it was like to hear her say that, to see her and hold her for the first time. But I think that now I have an idea of what God must feel when we first accept him as our Lord and walk tentatively into His arms. Pure and complete joy.

After awhile we went to our room and KayLi was surprisingly very happy and animated. She loved her sunglasses! She kept looking through them and then over, watching the color of the lens change her view. Each time she would giggle as she pushed the glasses back up to her eyes. Just too cute! My poor camera still wasn't set right but I will always love this picture regardless of how out of focus it is.

We rushed down to the hotel restaurant to grab some lunch as quickly as possible. The guide and all three of the orphanage workers would be back in an hour to go with us to the civil affairs office as well as the notary office. I was really hoping we would have the rest of the day to spend in our room getting to know each other but the orphanage workers wouldn't be able to come back so this was it. At least it meant we would get a lot of it out of the way. Plus as we drove around Jinan to the different locations, I was able to ask the doctor from the orphanage many questions.

All of the orphanage workers were very caring and I was surprised by the number of pictures they took of us. He took my e-mail address and said he would send some to me. As well as some others that he had on his camera that he showed me. Stephanie, there was a very sweet one of KayLi & Selena that I pray he sends. He showed it to me when I asked if KayLi had a special friend. When KayLi saw it she called Selena something that was kind of like "Who who" so be sure to ask them what her nickname is. He also gave me a copy of KayLi's finding ad....a huge blessing. Lydie, when I asked about Alexandre's ad, he showed me that he is on the same page as KayLi. I didn't ask about Della or Selena's ads and I'm so sorry. Maybe if we have KayLi's translated, they are on it too. He said they are both fine but wouldn't elaborate much. I think he will give you a copy of theirs if you ask. They brought the two outfits we sent, the pink bear, both pairs of shoes, two hairbows and the cameras also. He showed me the photo album we had sent but asked if they could keep it as a souvenir. I wanted it for KayLi so badly but how could I say no when they had just given us a child? So many families never even know if their child received the care package. I'm thankful that it looked dirty and worn. I'm certain that they used it and taught her about us, she even says Emily!

After all the paperwork tasks of the day were complete we finally went back to our hotel for dinner and called it a day. KayLi did fine for about an hour, then she realized that she wasn't leaving and had a huge meltdown. Nothing we did was much comfort to her and she finally cried herself to sleep while Allie held and rocked her. We all went straight to bed, not knowing if she would wake up and have us up half the night. It was the most heart breaking thing ever to watch her mourn for all she has know in her life, with strangers trying to comfort her. It was the most helpless feeling not to have words that would ease her pain. The phrases we have learned must sound so strange to her with our lousy accents that lack any correct tones. I was so thankful that once she was asleep, she slept peacefully all night.

We woke up almost two hours before she did and just held our breath at the way she would react to waking up with strangers in a strange place. She didn't melt down again but she was very apathetic about it. She just sort of laid around on each of us, one after the other. It didn't take too long before some of her toys caught her eye and she was happy and animated again. We get dressed and headed down to breakfast and she went to town! She used her spoon with her left hand to eat her conji (sp?) and we are watching to see if she's left handed.

We headed across the street to do some shopping but the stores don't open until nine. We decided to get a couple sodas at Mc Donalds and she loved their little play area. She went straight up the steps to the slide.

It was so good to see her happy!

And amazing to finally see Emily be the big sister she has longed to be!

We headed back to the "supermarket" which is very nice...this was no Carrefour store! This is like a very nice mall with many flours and a small upscale grocery store all in one. We rented KayLi a stroller and when she liked it, we were on a mission to get one. Thank God we found one because gets heavy quick! Then we headed back to Mc Donalds and got lunch to take to the hotel. All that without a guide...pretty scary but we did it!

We were totally unsuccessful at getting KayLi down for a nap. She was doing the meltdown thing again and Allie eventually tried walking the hotel hallways with her in the stroller. She's fine on the move but really doesn't want to be in this hotel room. It didn't work, not much does once she's tired. Our guide called a little later and said we could go pick up KayLi's passport already. So by the time we took care of that it was time for dinner where KayLi was totally happy and animated again.

Unfortunately it didn't last. Almost as soon as we were back in the room she melted down again. We didn't even try for a bath tonight...last night's was a nightmare. We just got her into pajamas, passed her from person to person when she wanted to and eventually she crashed in Allie's arms....just like last night. Basically she was either very happy or terribly sad all day with very little in between. It's exhausting to watch her, so I can only imagine what it is all like for her. Sooooo many changes...my heart breaks.

I'm so thankful that we were able to bring antibiotics with us because she has ear infections in both ears that you can literally smell. The doctor from the orphanage told us that she has had several but that they always clear up.Which makes me think he knows she has them now. She's had three doses and the smell seemed a little less intense tonight but maybe I'm getting used to it. She messes with her right ear the most and it has the strongest odor. I was expecting an infection in her left ear but I'm certain it's worse in the right. Please pray that they heal quickly. Our flight to Guangzhou is Friday and we really for her ears to be cleared up before then.

These have been, beyond a doubt, the most joyous and challenging two days of my life. When she is understood and happy, her smile is huge and her laugh is contagious. But when she is confused or mourning over all she has lost, it is gut wrenching. Please pray that what I have read on so many blogs is true...that the third day is when they begin to accept the changes. We are almost helpless at comforting her once she begins to meltdown and we really need to see God's transforming power at work soon. I understand that bounding is a process and I am prepared for it to take time. But while we go through this process please pray that God will be our comfort and that He will give us wisdom. Pray that tomorrow there will be more joy than sadness and that KayLi will know how very loved she is.


Jenn said...

Oh!! I have been waiting, waiting, waiting for an update! So glad to hear that things are going well...or I should say, as expected. :)

I'm praying for her and for all of you as you use this time to adjust. Our Karleigh Mei had double ear infections when we got her too--and one ear had a newly ruptured eardrum. :( She did fine on her flights--so try not to worry about it.

She is absolutely precious and I'm continuously praying!!


WilxFamily said...

"Joy comes in the morning."

I'm praying for her and all of you as well that she will be filled with God's peace.....soon!

Traci said...

Ok, I have moved the huge box of kleenex from the bathroom to right here with the computer. Oh, my! She is absolutely the most precious little girl! The pictures are melting my heart! I love them all! I promise, it gets easier. Our "breaking point" day, was also the third day, which is so amazing to see them come out of their shell and realize that you love them more than they've ever known. They start to trust you and love you back. Hang in there and please know that I am praying hard for you all. I am tickled that she will go to all of you, including Allie. It was so sad for my guys when Toryn wouldn't go to them. What size clothes did you take? Are they working? If I remember correctly, you said you were taking mostly 3T. She looks really tall in the pictures....is she? I cannot wait till you all get home, and settled, so we can have play dates!
I love you!

Sharon said...

Wow!!!! Brings back so many memories. Hudson was the opposite thouogh..LOVED being in the hotel room, hated going outside. Yes, each day will get a bit better. You are fortunate she will go to all of you. Hud would ONLY go to me until the last day in China. It is so hard to watch them grieve but a good sign as she has attached and can transfer that attachment. I am sure the ear infections don't help. Praying for all of you!!!!

Anonymous said...

We are loving the pictures! Thank You for sharing! You are all in our thoughts and prayers. I am so excited and happy for you all-soon this will be us! Thanks also for the heads up on the orphanage director having her there before your arrival, we will be prepared for this so we have no surprises, but the sooner the better right? We are following your blog closely and hope you are able to keep posting!! Can't wait for more!
Blessings,Amy & Ken

Melissa said...

Lisa -
I am thinking of you, and praying hard for you all that you will be able to comfort KayLi, and that KayLi will soon learn that you are her forever family and will be with her always full of love. I love seeing the pictures of her holding on to all of you....that shows she really does trust you! She is beautiful, and I am so praying for you that Day 3 does get better for you. I am also praying that her ears heal quickly. Matthew was terrible sick when we got him too, and it took about 3 days until he felt better. Thinking of you all of the time. Love, Melissa

Kristi said...

I'm terribly behind as we were on vacation for the past six days, but I sure have been praying for you guys! This post shows your "Mama's heart" as you are so sensitive to KayLi's new surroundings. I'll keep reading to see what is going on now...